When pregnancy is weird

So, it all started at my 10-week checkup.

Well, I guess it started a few weeks before that, when we started having to tell people around us about the pregnancy earlier than people usually do, because I was showing so much that it was impossible for people not to figure it out. And then they'd give me the side eye and say "You're sure you're only that far along?" That was about the point when my pants were also not really fitting anymore, and I started having pain that was best described by my pregnancy book as round ligament pain (but that stuff's only supposed to happen when you're in your second trimester). Some days it felt like I could almost watch my belly grow. Which I knew was weird, but I also kind of ignored it.

And then I went for my 10-week checkup, with the GP who did my initial pregnancy test at the university's health services. Our original plan was for me to stay with health services until we moved, at which point I'd be handed over to an OB/GYN. But, at the checkup, the doctor freaked out, and was convinced that I was at least 20 weeks along, or that I was having twins and was about 14 weeks along. Either way, the doctor was beginning to make me feel like those ladies on that TLC show. The doctor kept using the doppler on me, to try to find the baby's heartbeat (because it ought to be easy to find at 20 weeks), but couldn't find anything. But the long time of using the doppler hurt my belly.

And this all is how I got rushed in for an ultrasound, and how I got a "maternal health specialist" instead of a health services doctor.

(Oh, and all of this happened while Chris was out of town, chaperoning his school's graduating class.)

So, a few days (and many medical appointments) later, Chris and I went for my ultrasound (and what really did feel like a moment of truth). We nervously chatted about the possibility of twins, as we sat in the waiting room.

When the ultrasound began, the tech began asking me weird questions about whether I'd ever had an ultrasound before, and started looking at my kidneys as well. He then said that I had one baby, with a healthy heart rate, who was 10 weeks along. I may have cheered and said "Take that, Dr. [Health Services Doctor]!" in response. And then I thought to ask why I was so big and had all these weird symptoms. And he showed me the image, saying, "So, up here on top is your baby. And allllll this below it? They're called fibroids, and they're a significant size. Have you been uncomfortable lately?"

Okay, first weird part: I already knew all about fibroids, because a good friend had a big one when she was pregnant. But she also had all the symptoms before that, and so I knew all the symptoms and didn't have any. And I may have recently said to her, "Well, at least I know that my pregnancy will be easier than yours, because I've never had fibroids."  FAMOUS LAST WORDS, PEOPLE.

And that's set the tone for the last few months: extra specialist appointments, where I'm reassured that there is very little risk for the baby, but that I'll have a lot of pain (mostly ligament pain, but also pinched nerves, and pain associated with my various squashed innards). The main "complication" is that it's likely/almost guaranteed (and veering towards "it'll take a miracle to avoid") that I'll need a C-Section. I've had a number of health professionals say that they've never seen a case this extreme before, my GP tell me that I'm too complicated for her to handle until after the baby's born, and my chiropractor tell me that I'm almost too complicated for him. I can only walk short distances, and can only stand for a few minutes at a time, and lately I've only been able to sleep in a recliner. Also, I recently had someone ask me if my due date has arrived yet (I'm only half-way there, people!).  Also? Apparently there's an intermediate stage of maternity pants, where you have extra elastics and no belly band. I wish I'd known of its existence when I was at 8 weeks, because I've skipped straight to third trimester pants (okay, and muumuus around the house).

Mostly, though? It's made life funny and weird. Chris and I make jokes about the fibroids being our baby's weird, angry companions (or couches, waterbeds, soccer balls to kick...). I've become That Woman Who Always Talks About Bodily Functions, because fibroids interfere with them and make them weird. Because the baby's up by my ribs now, and pushed far forward, I got to feel the kicks early (especially when he/she kicks me right in the ribs!). Actually, because the kid has holed up right under (and sometimes in) my left rib cage, it's always tricky finding the heartbeat, because it's so close to my own heart that my own heartbeat drowns everything out.

Oh, and if you look closely, I never have so much "cute pregnant belly" as "why does that pregnant lady have extra lumps on the bottom of her belly?" or sometimes "Is it possible that she's only pregnant on the left half of her body? And now is it visibly shifting?"

Oh, and my bellybutton is already and outie, and I forced far too many people to look at my bellybutton as it progressed from innie to outie.  Because I'm a giver.

So, that brings you up to date with my life: trying to stay comfortable, trying to sleep, trying not to overshare all of my medical detail to EVERY stranger,  trying to write a dissertation chapter, and trying to shift my focus away from the painful lumps and toward the child that's going to be part of our lives sometime around Christmas.

For a while, I was a little bitter that I didn't get to have a "normal" pregnancy. Now I'm finding the hilarity in being weird.

I'll admit I've been keeping my cards close to my chest lately

Well, I didn't intend to disappear for such a long time! At first, right after I wrote that last post, I got very sick (as part of a series of stress-related illnesses), and stayed sick until the New Year. (Also, I got to try all kinds of powerful antibiotics, and may have experienced some rheumatic fever! Fun times at Christmas.) (As another aside, I am your perfect sick party guest: hobbling around, whining about "my rheumatiz." You guys missed a magical time.)

After I got home from that second trip home, my life was divided between the Bloggable But Stressful (Get the crazy chapter under control and come up with a workable plan for finishing soon!) and the Very Unbloggable Thanks To IRL People Reading This Blog (Let's apply for work closer to home! What if we start a family now?). Some days, it felt like every decision we were facing were some of the biggest decisions we'd ever made in our lives. And somehow they seemed so much scarier than the Big Decisions we made before (or maybe we were younger and more flippant than we are now.) Get married? Sounds like a wonderful plan! Move across the country for grad school? Hey, why not? Sounds fun. (Oh, to be 24 years old again.)

But now, we've made some decisions, finalized plans, and have even announced them on Facebook (you know, after I told people in person first, because I'm not a monster). We're moving home, and I'm pregnant!

Dear goodness, those words are simultaneously exciting and terrifying.

I seriously can't believe this is all happening. And I know that "I'm pregnant and we're moving home to the prairies" sounds like the beginning of a novel about giving up on your dreams, but both of these really feel like the fulfillment of life-long dreams for us. We got Chris a good job in our hometown, in the same city as our entire families. And, barring something major happening, we're staying there. I'm insanely determined to get this dissertation finished, and then I'll figure out what I'm doing. It's been years since I realised that I wasn't cut out for the tenure-track life, but I'll carve my own path. I love working with students, and I'd love to do something university- or research-adjacent. There will be something for me (and it's not urgent for me to find it: the top priority is finishing the dissertation and having this baby; Chris will be making enough to support us until I find something).

There's this part of me that fears some people will think I'm crazy for having a baby right now (well, at the end of December), or that I'm somehow wasting all this education by not aggressively pursuing a tenure-track position. Or that I'm crazy for having a baby at a point when I don't qualify for EI maternity pay. (But do you know how long it would be until I would qualify? And seriously: we'll be financially fine.)

Okay. Enough (heading-towards-an-outie) navel-gazing. I'll save the crazy medical details (How I've Spent The Past Month In Doctor's Waiting Rooms, and Why I Keep Baffling Medical Professionals*) for another post.

In honour of the move back to the homeland, let's finish off with an old school Question Time!

Time? 1:39pm

Surroundings? I'm in my office, surrounded by dirty dishes, kleenex boxes, and scraps of printed off translation material. (By the way, I have a cold, and the inability to take cold medicine: pure torture.)

Tea? Murchies Library Tea. (Why no, I haven't completely cut out caffeine. Why yes, I do know about the risks, but I also have read a terrifying number of medical journal articles and stay well under the safe limit.)

Wearing? Pyjamas, rubber-soled slippers, TARDIS bathrobe, hair that is standing straight on end. (It might be time to bathe soon.) (Uh, you guys, I just found out how much my sister spent on my new bathrobe...)

Stuck in my head? "A Hundred and One Pounds of Fun" from South Pacific. Because I forced Chris to watched the movie with me this weekend, and this is what I get in return. Mitzi Gaynor's voice in my head for the rest of my life.

What am I most thankful for? My Christopher. He's been phenomenal lately, doing all the cooking and cleaning (in addition to dealing with the madness of the end of the school year), since I've been so sick, sore and tired for the past couple of months. He's a good'un.


* Working title.

Doing my best imitation of a Victorian invalid

So, I think that the WWII course took everything out of me.  After that whole "I was so tired after giving the final that I was pretty much sleepwalking outside, and ended up with a scraped nose and a concussion" episode, I finished all the marking, packed, drove to Saskatchewan, attended a church camp, and promptly caught the Cold That Ate Vancouver Island.  Two and a half weeks later, I'm finally getting better.  Well, I had been getting better, and then had an allergic reaction to a cat, and spent a few days where I hardly could get out of bed.  So, that was an adventure.  There wasn't much to blog, since my thoughts were mostly occupied with such thoughts as "Naps after taking Benadryl are particularly strange naps," and "It is convenient that my in-laws possess a fainting couch, because I really am doing my best imitation of a Victorian invalid this week.  Sometimes I'm worried that this cold is just in my head and is an excuse to sit around on a chaise lounge and read Sherlock Holmes mysteries,* but then I try to move around and start coughing like I have consumption."

But today I'm starting to feel better.  I even felt well enough to tease the in-laws' cat (without actually touching her, since that would cause an allergic reaction), which is how Chris knew I was feeling better.  Maybe tomorrow I'll even leave the house, and start visiting people in town.  You know, since I'm IN SASKATCHEWAN and all. 

***********

In other news, I'm trying out Google+ now, and am still figuring out what I think about that.  If you're trying it out too, you can find me using the gmail address on the sidebar. 


* You know, it is a surreal experience reading the entirety of the Sherlock Holmes stories in the course of a few weeks.  You start noticing funny things, like how apparently everyone's response to traumatic experiences is to suffer from "brain-fever"?  What is a brain-fever?  Dramatic things happen in Prague, secret societies happen in the United States, murder is apparently okay if a lady's honour was at stake, mysterious wives come from South America, and Empire and racism are everywhere (unsurprisingly).  Also, I have trouble not picturing Holmes and Watson as Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, but I picture Mycroft Holmes as Stephen Fry, even though the new Sherlock Holmes movie isn't even out yet.  But I digress.

And then I got very sick

Oh hi there.  While I haven't posted to this blog since I returned from Hawaii, I also haven't unpacked since then either!  My allergies went nuts at the end of the trip, and then as soon as I got home, I pretty much immediately caught the bad cold that Chris had.  He was actually sick enough to miss a couple of days of school, and so considering the fact that illnesses that make Chris a little sick make me VERY sick, I should have known that this "cold" would be bad news.

In other words, I went for more than a week having no voice, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've left the house since the beginning of the month.

In better news, I've been able to do AMAZING Carol Channing impressions all week.  I've been working on being able to act out this scene from Alice in Wonderland for Ky:

Thankfully, I'm starting to get MUUUUCH BEEEEETTER (seriously, please watch the above video), which is a good thing, because I have a course starting in three weeks (and am still finalizing things like readings and assignments, not to mention the syllabus), and I've been postponing a meeting with my supervisor for a week and a half now, on account of me having no voice. 

Of course, all I want to do is watch Star Wars and Youtube videos, but that's just the "I have hardly left the house" talking.

(Hm.  I hope this post makes sense.  My head is still very foggy. Basic tasks exhaust me.)

Steadily Improving

I can mostly use my left arm again!  Hooray! 

I spent several days in Vancouver, and was able to tour around with my brother for hours with little to no pain.  It was really exciting when I realised that I went for a couple of hours without thinking about my shoulder and neck at all, after nearly two weeks of constant pain.  It was nice to be at a place where walking made me feel better (for the first while, any amount of walking meant that I needed to lay down for a few hours). 

I'm so glad.  I'd planned this trip to Vancouver with my brother a long time ago, and I was worried that my injury was going to make the trip difficult or impossible.  But then I was fine, and we had a lot of fun.  We took every form of transit available (including the Sea Bus), and talked cities and urban planning.  The only time I had any trouble was when the bus driver in North Vancouver was driving like a maniac, and when I tried to stand up, he suddenly stopped and I fell onto an elderly woman.  (Classic me.)  But I was fine again after a couple of minutes.    

By the end of the weekend, I was able to start reading again without neck pain.  All I need to do now is be able to type for extended amounts of time, and I'll really be back to normal (I keep having to take breaks from writing this blog post, because my arm starts getting sore again).  But I'm improving (and I just found out that insurance will cover all my chiropractor visits!). 

Of course, it's a little scary getting back to work, after a couple of weeks of being physically unable to get anything done.  Anxiety about the time I've lost makes it hard to face my work again.  But at least I can work again. 

Guess who has two thumbs and is no longer allergic to apples and aspergillus?

This girl right here! 

I just finished this year's allergy re-testing, and I've finally had some good news: it's starting to work on a long-term basis and not just make me feel better on the short term.  I thought I'd been feeling a lot better.  Of course, it doesn't mean that I get to go off my shots just yet (...says the girl who is still allergic to lettuce), but it's nice to hear that it's starting to work, and that there will be slightly fewer needles when I do my re-testing next year. 

(And that's all I have the energy to type right now. I took an antihistamine and now I'm moving slowly.)

Madness

Here's a picture from my hometown newspaper that shows one of Regina's streets this week:

That's the street our church is on! And have I mentioned the fact that Regina is the only city in Canada that wasn't built on a major body of water?  (The "lake" in Regina is a man-made one from the Depression era.)

And we're driving out there next week.  We're officially crazy.  (Well, granted, we're heading further north than that next week, and won't be going down to Regina until a week after that.  So Regina: you have two weeks to get your act together!)

In other news: I have laryngitis! Laryngitis is so strange.  And just as I didn't realise how frequently I unconsciously touched my eyes until I was covered in VapoRub, I had no idea how compulsively I talked until it hurt too much to talk.  (Everyone who has met me in person knows how compulsively I talk.) Poor Christopher: he's finally on holidays and I'm completely useless.  On the other hand, because I feel guilty if he does too much work, I encouraged him to play computer games for half the day. 

On the up side, I'm allowed to watch as many movies as I want, and I am getting better at Spider Solitaire.  I tried to read German and my brain and my head weren't up to it.  Relaxing without guilt is nice.

More Sickness Blogging

You know those people who wear the same perfume for so long that they can no longer smell it on themselves and they start wearing it more and more heavily? And then when you walk into a room with them it's like being hit by a wall of perfume?

Tonight, I reached that point with Vicks Vapo-Rub. Chris is hiding in the office.

The nice bits of my day

1. Brand new lemons --> lots of hot water with honey and lemon. 
2. I took an honest-to-goodness sick day today.   I stayed in my pyjamas until Chris came home and didn't feel guilty about it at all.  And watched a lot of the Food Network. 
3. I spent the whole day thinking "I wish someone would show up with a pulled pork sandwich. I think I'd feel stronger if I had some meat." And then Chris got home, heard that I was craving barbeque, and picked up pulled pork and brisket from a place downtown.  And that made me feel much better. 
4. I thought I was supposed to be starting preparations for the staff end-of-the-year party for Chris's work, and then he called to say that he was wrong and the party is on Monday.  Not only do I get to do nothing today, but there's no pressure to do anything tomorrow now either.  Bliss.
5. Chris is done all his prep and marking for the year. Now it's just supervising one more exam, awards day, and grad.
6. A book I ordered from England (for the dissertation) arrived in the mail, while all the delivery estimates thought that it would arrive after we left. 
7. Dissertations being available online in pdf form: I love living in the future.  No ordering, no waiting.  (Dr. Supervisor discovered that someone wrote a really relevant-to-my-research dissertation and defended it last year.)

Ouchies

It's always this way: "Why am I getting nothing done? Why am I tired? Why does my head hurt? Why does my throat hurt? Oh."  I'm sick.  I've been fending this off for a few days, but it hit me mid-way through the afternoon.  By 4:00 I couldn't even stay upright. 

And so I'm home alone, because I've decided that I'm too sick for prayer meeting.  I might go to bed soon.  I need to get better immediately, because I don't want to be sick when we're traveling. 

But before I crashed I got a lot done, and I'm so proud of myself.  I have a BC driver's license now! Well, I have a yellow piece of paper that says that my license will soon arrive in the mail and I'm allowed to drive.  And I have no photo ID until my new license arrives, which is a little bit terrible.  At least we're not flying home. 

And now I'm going to stop writing. I have a bucket full of sleepiness. I think I'm going to drink hot water with honey and lemon and stare at the dancing people on the TV.

Sick Day

Somewhere between Geoffy's cold (which he apparently brought with him from his previous trip to Mexico), and all the sick kids at Chris's school, I've come down with a weird cold. I managed not to catch Chris's gross Stomach Plague, and then caught a cold immediately, in true Maryanne fashion.

I've been so tired and achy that I took yesterday and half of today off. At least it's a good time to take a couple of days off (except for that late ILL book): we have no house guests anymore, and not being able to leave the couch means I'm allowed to watch all the Olympics I want.

And, boy howdy, have I been watching the Olympics. I think it's amusing my parents, having me (me!) calling them all excited about curling and hockey. On the other hand, no one is surprised that I'm obsessed with figure skating. Or that I insisting on watching all of ice dancing, right from the compulsory program onward.

I feel like I'm seven years old all over again: the Olympics are in Canada somewhere close to where I live, and Elizabeth Manley is on my TV again (albeit as a commentator now, rather than as The Most Magical Silver Medalist Ever).

In other news, after I started to get some energy again this afternoon, I started cooking, in the hopes that food would revive me more. Such a good idea. I tried this recipe for Earl Grey Tea Pudding, and wow! London Fog in pudding form. I also made Roasted Dill Carrot Soup, and that was magical for my sore throat.

In conclusion: sickness is bad, but Olympics and dairy-based soft food are good. And I'm thinking in fragments, because I'm getting tired again.

Interesting/scary article (with bonus QoWP Paranoid Response)

From CBC Health: "Kids' eating habits worsened since '98" (according to a study by the Ontario Heart and Stroke Foundation which investigated kids' consumption of vegetables).

It's the usual sort of article we've all been reading for years, except that this line stood out:

"It is staggering to think that the children in the streets and schools outside this building are calculated to have a life expectancy that is now less than that of their parents," said Dr. Andrew Pipe of the Heart and Stroke Foundation in Ottawa.

"This is unheard of virtually in the history of evolution of the human species, and it clearly is a call for action."

Some readers responded to this article by blaming parents. Some blamed the high demands of the workforce. Some blamed the high cost of healthy food. I responded by realising that I hadn't had a vegetable with my lunch, and then going to eat some carrots, out of fear that my sometimes-negligence of vegetable eating is shortening my life span. Because that's how I roll: swinging back and forth between laziness and being convinced that everything's going to kill me.

Mid-Tuesday Grace in Small Things

I was too tired to write last night, and feeling a touch whiny, and so I'll post now.

1. Nothing wrong with my kidneys, huzzah! I just got back from the doctor, and from what she can tell, it looks like I'd had a mild bladder infection last week, but I managed to knock it out of my system already with all that cranberry juice I've been guzzling, and the back pain is just my hips acting all crazy again. So no medication, no looking forward to crazy lots of pain, and all I have to look forward to is an extra trip to the chiropractor.

2. I promise to never tell you about my urinary system again. Pinkie promise, in fact.

3. This isn't so much a "small thing," but Glenn started talking on Sunday! His memory and his personality are intact, and he can now communicate. These things are huge and his family is so excited.

4. I got to talk on the phone with my grandpa today! Today is his 85th birthday. I was talking with a bit of a Norwegian accent for the next half hour after that.

5. It's fun talking with my grandma about how she's going to be a great-grandma for the first time (thanks to my cousin Ang) at the end of October. I'm glad that the first great-grandchild will be one that will live on the farm across the road from Grandma and Grandpa. (Wow: two-fifths of my Teen Girl Squad will be having babies the month that I fly to Germany. We must be grownups or something.)

ZOOOOMBIIIIIIE PLAAAAAAGUE!

Okay, Bloggy Minions, we have a problem here. I did this Wordle thing for the words used most frequently on my blog (on the main page) and here's what it looks like:

Uh, you might need to click the link. But the words "Kleenex," "Disgusting," and "Bacteria" have been dominating too much of my blog space, and my brain space.

But here's the problem: remember how I was going batty with cabin fever? Remember how I needed to get out of this house like crazy and I was kind of glad that I was teaching today? Yeah, it turns out that I do not just have any ordinary cold, but I have Ky's Infamous Zombie Plague of 2008. (Seriously: read those three posts. Ky makes illness far more interesting than I do.) Well, actually it turns out that I really do have sinusitis (and it's looking more and more likely that I have a real sinus infection, and will have to go on antibiotics if this doesn't start improving in 48 hours), and the only reason why I was feeling any better was because I was taking care of myself and I hadn't gone outside and breathed the cold air.

Until today. I tried to teach. But I nearly passed out (several times) when my sinuses went bazoo when I rushed around and went outside. Like, I got so dizzy that I went incoherent and somewhere in there I went to school a lot more slowly than I thought I was going, and I was late for the first seminar and they left before I got there (some came back for the second group), and I can't even accurately give you an account of everything that happened between 9:30 this morning and the lunchtime I spent in the doctor's office.

So, that was bad. And now I can't leave house this week either. I'm stuck at home and I'm feeling worse because I was stupid and tried to get back to normal. And I made things complicated for the prof for the class I was TAing, since now half of one class didn't get seminar this week, and then she had to sub for me in the afternoon. And the only thing I could tell her, when she asked why I didn't call her last night and just have her do today's seminars in the first place? "I thought I was better."

So. I guess once my sinuses settle down again I can get some writing and marking done. But until then, I'll be watching You've Got Mail and pretend that it's charming to shuffle around the house in a bathrobe full of kleenex.

(There will be no GiST today. I'm quite obviously feeling too whiney.)

Not-So-Random Bullets of The Cold That Ate Cleveland

(...sorry, Roger. My cold ate your town.)

• Why do congested sinuses affect how my brain works? Yesterday it took me five minutes to spell my own name.
• Today, I'm not coherent enough to watch tonight's Battlestar Galactica, and so we're taping it in the hopes that I can handle watching it tomorrow. I only have the mental capacity for cooking shows and sitcom reruns.
• I shouldn't cook when I can't smell. I made carrot soup yesterday afternoon, but was too tired and incoherent to be sensible about the spices (and desperately wanted to be able to taste anything), and used too heavy of a hand with the garlic. Chris just had to throw out the leftovers, because apparently it's even worse when you have a sense of smell.
  
• But I slept last night! Twelve whole hours! Huzzah!
• You know how usually when you're Investigating Dr. Google you end up feeling frightened? I've been reading up a lot about sinusitis, and while it is likely that I have the kind of sinusitis that isn't a bacterial infection (yet), it looks like I'm doing everything right to treat it and don't have to rush to a doctor. So it's actually making me feel better.
  
• Ky deserves a Medal of Bravery. She bussed here with the essays I need to mark and sat in my Bio-hazard apartment for a while. And witnessed the disgustingness of Kleenex Mountain.
• You should all be glad that I haven't posted any photos of all the Kleenex mountains. It's quite disgusting.
• Oh my goodness! On The Wild Gourmets they're going to eat a squirrel! They're making Peking Squirrel. Gross.
• ...sorry about how gross this became.
  

Legless Wonder Once Again

So, I'm going through the "build-up" phase of my new batch of allergy shot serum. This is always an adventure, because until you reach the "maintenance dose," you're getting too little of your allergy shot, and instead of it making you feel better, it makes you feel terrible. You get the symptoms of that particular allergy rather than relief from it. So, last week, while I was getting the build-up shots for my the dust and mold allergies, I got hives and a scratchy throat. But now I'm getting the build-up shots for my food allergies. This is always the weird time, because my reaction is never what you'd expect from food allergies: my joints get so swollen that it gets hard to use my legs.

Yep, I'm a legless wonder again.

So, because words aren't forming very coherently in my head right now (tiredness is the other symptom; also, it is nearly my bedtime), I'll structure the rest of this post in my old blog format. Question time!

Time: 10:54pm

I am wearing: grey cardigan, bright blue t-shirt, charcoal dress pants, rubber-soled slippers.

Tea: Library Tea from Murchies.

I am procrastinating from: cleaning this messy house, and going to bed.

I am most pleased about: how today I managed to find excuses in four straight seminars to sing part of "Mack the Knife." In the third seminar, several of my students sang with me. (Excuse: a student said "The book keeps talking about this song like everyone knows it. What is 'Mack the Knife?'")

I love: Being in a field where you spend your day teaching students about Peter Lorre, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and "Mack the Knife."

Speaking of teaching: Maybe I'm so tired because I taught the same seminar four times in a row today. It's a strange and draining experience, having the same conversation over and over.

Oddest moment of my evening: I had to explain to my nerdier-than-me husband what "pwned" means.

Most pleasant thing I can think of at the moment: bumblebees. Is there a better word to say? Bumblebees. Why are theoretical bees so pleasant? (Not that I enjoy being around actual bees.)

Having read the above few lines: I see some clear evidence that I ought to go to sleep now.

Since the rumour's been going around already

Yesterday, I got two phone calls that included the phrase, "So, a little birdie tells me you've been running!"

(My first thought was that more people are reading my Twitter than I thought, but that wasn't how these two heard: they're both in Saskatoon, and in both cases "little birdie" = Ky.)

Well, it's true. Last week, I went running four times. And three of those runs happened at 6:30 in the morning. I even bought new runners last week!

I hardly recognise myself at this point.

I'd been thinking about taking up running for a while. I really missed how good it felt, back when I'd go running on the treadmill when Shannon used to make me go to the gym. I hadn't managed to run since I'd injured my hip five years ago. Even with help from the chiropractor, ever since the injury, any time I tried to run, I'd end up hurting my hip. However, I just got orthotics and my chiropractor was really insistent that this meant that I could run all I wanted now. He was also really insistent that I should start running -- my muscles really atrophied while I sat and read books for a whole year.

Actually, what finally got me out running was the fact that I was having a lot of trouble getting up and getting going in the morning. Since I've finished my exams, it's gotten a little too easy to spend most of the day in my pyjamas. I'll procrastinate from getting showered and dressed, which then means that I won't end up doing anything with my day at all (other than play on the computer, watch TV and talk on the phone) until Chris gets home. That's fun for a few days, but it gets depressing in a hurry. And so one day I asked Chris if he would wake me up when he got up to go running. Of course, at 6:00 the next morning I was sure that I was a big old crazy person for ever suggesting I do this, but I did it and it felt fantastic. (Okay, it felt fantastic when it was over, but my lungs also went on riot, because apparently my cardiovascular system isn't used to exertion anymore?) And it helped me get out of my funk: since I was showered and dressed by the time Chris had left for work, I had no excuse to sit around the house all day. (And it was a good thing that this happened when it did, because it turns out that I'll be spending much of June TAing a course that begins at 8:30am.)

So, I'm running for the sake of my mental health. But it sure helps my physical health too.

Right here: the biggest wimp on earth

Today I went to the chiropractor to get my neck and shoulder checked out, seeing as I still couldn't turn my head very far to the left and it felt like a sharp needle was poking my skull. At first my chiro assumed that it was just tension in my upper back, thanks to all the hunching over cue cards and stressing out, until I told him about the sharp pain. Turns out that I threw something way out in my neck, to the point of some bones being twisted around.

Seriously, it took a lot of work to get me back in line. And I'm still popping ibuprofen, because my shoulder still hurts. (But it isn't as bad as before.)

I wish I had some cool reason for my injury. Like rugby or something. "Well, that last flying tackle was a little too much."

No. Instead I get, "I think maybe it was handwriting all those cue cards. Maybe also the way I prop the phone between my ear and my shoulder when I'm busy."

I'm pretty sure I need to build up the muscles in my body, so that it takes a flying tackle to throw my neck out like that, and not office work.

In other news: I heard back from one of my profs, and I've officially passed my Canada exam! Huzzah! (Well, the e-mail she sent to the grad chair was essentially "Yep, it's fine." Which is all I ask.)

Again, I am a legless wonder

For those who have been wondering where I've been for the past few days, they should refer to this post from my early days of blogging. Actually, the swelling this year is also in my shoulders, my neck and my jaw. Which has just been fabulous for my productivity. (Actually, I've gotten a shocking amount of work done. Just not as much as I would have liked to have done.) I don't know if it's that my allergies are worse because I'm under so much stress, or if it's the fact that I've dragged out my "build-up" process for so long, but this year has been much harder than the last few.

And so, in honour of my Legless Wonder days, and because I'm apparently incapable of talking without whining lately, I'll give you everything else in simple question/answer format.

Time: 10:52pm

Current Soundtrack: Chris finishing up washing every single dish in the house. (It's been one of those weeks.)

Good parts of the last half of my week:
a.) Structuring entire days around the teas I would drink (my biggest motivator is tea);
b.) Organizing an entire referendum campaign over the course of my lunch break at the university on Wednesday;
c.) Both of us taking a break at supper every day (read: between 7-8pm) to watch M*A*S*H and Scrubs reruns;
d.) Being sucked back in to Top Model in time to see the (horrific as usual) makeovers.
e.) Finally starting to feel like I'm getting things together for my exams.

Ambivalent part of my week: Finding that library book that was presumed lost (and especially presumed to be left at the hospital when I was visiting a friend), wedged in a weird place behind a piece of furniture. After I had to pay all those lost book fines and replaced the book.

Tea of the day: Wild Strawberry Green tea, from T. (A birthday present from Meg.) Actually, first it was a big mug of seamist from Silk Road, because the food allergies had given me a tummyache.

When I'm done with my comps, I will miss the least: trying to parse the impenetrable prose of 1980s film historians who have decided that they're going to use semiotics and structuralism. (Okay fine, I'll have to deal with them again when I'm writing my dissertation. But I get a break from them for a few weeks, right?)

Most recent method of annoying Chris: Singing the terrible Burlington Coat Factory jingle, which mostly consists of a woman endlessly shrieking, "Family VA-lues! Family Va-Lues!"

One year later

Today my Dad reminded me that it's been a year since he had his trach put in. It's been a full year since we went through all that craziness, with the hospital stays and the intensive care and losing Grandma and temporarily losing our apartment. I went through my blog posts from the first few months of 2007, to compile a list for Dad of the updates that I put up (so that he could read the nice comments people left), and a bunch of things struck me at once:

1. I have a wonderful support network. Both in "real life" and in bloggy land. I don't know if I've said this before, but thank you.

2. Wow, I really did lose a semester, didn't I? I got spurts of work done here and there, and then would lose weeks because of all the stuff that happened and the resulting stress. I should stop beating myself up that it's taken me until now to get to my exams, and be proud of myself that we got through everything and that I'm finally here.

3. As of yesterday, we're four weeks away from my exams! Eeeek!