Yup. Again. Just like every year. And this year I didn't even go on to the university-wide competition: my department sat down with the applications, and decided that (although my application was apparently really strong) the fact that I'm a third year student and still not finished my comps, that I didn't have a chance and there was no point passing me on to the university adjudication committee. Because "timeliness" is the new watchword of [Shirk] and my non-timeliness would not sit well with them.
Do you know what would have been nice? If I hadn't been required to apply this year. If one of the people in my department who was helping me with this application had just pulled me aside and said, "Look. It's a good thing that you're clarifying your research by putting together the Program of Study, but you really don't have to stress about applying this year. Use this time to finish your comps reading." I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and I wouldn't have taken so much time out of my reading schedule to get this finished.
Sure, I have the reassurance that I had put together a strong application, and that members of my department really like my research plans. But I am also really frustrated right now, and this sort of disappointment (especially when it's as a result of my lack of progress) sure isn't helping my motivation level.
(By the way: don't worry about me. I had my frustrated cry, and vented about all this to my friend Andrea. I have a lot more perspective than I had earlier today, and I'm also aware that I can't let this discourage me too much.)
5 comments:
I'm so sorry. And it sucks that they didn't give you a heads-up earlier. *hugs*
[Slack off] totally looks fat in those pants. [Slack off] also has the mystical combination of an outside wedgie - plumber's butt.
Your field must be really different than mine, or your university system very different -- being done with comps in the FALL of your third year would mean taking them (all of them, another problem...) in the spring of your second year...
If I recall correctly, hubby did his in the spring of his third year and was considered on-schedule. I doubt your field is "easier" than political science :).
Thanks everyone.
Philosophy factory: The funny thing is that it's not so much my field that's different as my university's attitudes towards comps. My department has been really understanding and accommodating. But they're also aware that the rest of the university might now be so understanding, not to mention the funding agency, which has placed a new emphasis on "timeliness."
I'm finding that I have a complicated relationship with the ideal of "timeliness."
This just confirms my suspicion that [Shirk] and everything associated with it is puuuuuuure eeeeeeeeeeevil. What a sucky sitch to be in, hon. Hang in there.
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