Monday, July 11, 2005

Temporary Existence

My life is on the brink of change, and yet at this moment it continues as usual. There is much evidence of the impending changes: wedding presents sit at my parents' house (coffee makers, dishes, blankets) that will not be used until after we move out to Victoria. As of Friday, I am officially a renter in British Columbia. (Note to self: set up a phone account.) Chris keeps paying for things for us, claiming that he might as well, considering the fact that we're switching to joint banking and he is the one with money. We have cards addressed to "Chris and Maryanne [New Last Name]." We've filled out all our information for the wedding register. We spent much of last week with married people, who often talked to us as if we were married, or made plans with us for collective married couple activities that we will organise at future camps.

And yet, here I am, in the same old room, on the same old bed, blogging on my computer. I'm wearing pyjamas that I received at one of the bridal showers, and I had a moment's hesitation over whether I could wear them yet. They're clean pyjamas! Why can't I wear them?

And yet, through all this, I feel like me. And kind of like I'm a kid playing dress-up. Last week I discovered that I've settled into a perpetual state of shock, rather than attempt to fathom everything that must change this month.

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