Back when Christopher and I decided to get married (back when I was mid-way through my MA), I went out for lunch with (my then-supervisor) Dr. B and my old department head, Dr. G. They wanted to talk about my future: about getting a PhD, and about getting married. (Dr. B and Dr. G tended to act like they were my parents. Did I mention that I came from a very small and family-like department, and I was one of Dr. B's two advisees? And that I travelled to Europe with both these men?)
They knew that I hadn't been planning on getting my PhD right away, and they were sitting down with me to express their concern that I would lose momentum if I took a long break between MA and PhD. They knew that I work best with small deadlines, and that I lose momentum quickly.
They both wanted to make sure that I was going to be okay, marrying Chris. They didn't really know him well, and they wanted to make sure that Chris knew what he was getting into, marrying an academic.
"Is he aware of the amount of your household income that is going to have to go into the purchase of books? Does he know the unusual life that you're going to have to have? Is he aware of the amount of travel required for your particular field?"
I was thinking about that conversation this morning. As we were waking up, Chris announced, "I've decided that, first thing every morning, I'm going to spend a half an hour learning German."
Right now, he's at his computer, working on the CD-ROM program that we got from the National Geographical store. He's learning his numbers and working on vowel pronunciations. He knows that we're going to have to spend a lot of time in Germany, in the next year or so, and he wants to make sure that he's prepared. And the fact that he's working on German got me working on German. It's always so much easier to learn a language when there's someone else learning at the same time.
I think I'll keep him.
(Not to mention how well he handled himself last night, at a dinner party of mostly PhD candidates. He can really hold his own in conversations with scholars. Actually, he was having more intellectual conversations than I was having.)
3 comments:
That is so sweet of him. I know that's one of J's major concerns is that I'm going to be traveling in the ME and eventually (this summer!) he's going to be going there with me; and yet he doesn't know the language.
Maybe I'll get him some software or a book to help keep him entertained over the summer while I'm away before he comes to visit.
BTW, kudos to Chris for playing well with your colleagues. It was one of the things J and I fought about early on (how much time we needed to socialize with the department). Typically, I end up going to such things alone because he's often bored unless lots of othr non-ac partners will be there-- which I've really learned to be happy with. It's got to be hard being a non-ac married to an ac.
What I love is that you had a line that says "I travelled to Europe with both these men". Sounds like you were their "guest".
kf: I highly recommend the program that Chris is using. It's called Instant Immersion, and I've also seen it at places like Wal-Mart. And they have "Instant Arabic." It's good for giving you the basics, and Chris really likes the Instant German program. (It uses a bunch of different learning styles, and there are games and stuff.)
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