(Yes, I'm talking more about Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
I was in for a big shock when I started getting allergy shots. I had no idea that most of my stuffiness, pain, and tiredness were symptoms of the bazillions of hidden allergies I had. I had no idea until those symptoms went away. "You mean I don't have to live with a perpetual cold?" I realised.
It's felt the same way beginning light therapy. I had this vague notion that my mind used to be a lot sharper. I remembered that I used to have the concentration, energy and motivation to read. I remembered a time when I operated on fewer than 10 hours of sleep. I remembered that I didn't always feel like I was fighting through cobwebs. I remembered a time when I wasn't continually feeling just a little sad, and just a little desperate, especially when I was alone. I remembered a time when I was able to speak more coherently. I knew that it used to be occasionally difficult to leave the house, but it never seemed to be this bad. I really don't remember crying so often. And it seemed to change sometime around when I moved here.
When I moved from a bright and sunny top-floor apartment where I was always bathed in sunlight (seriously, my bed was against a huge east-facing window) to a basement suite that I never leave. Yes, when I first moved here, I was dealing with grief, and with the shock of moving across the country and getting married. But I didn't seem to get better.
Yesterday afternoon was like a revelation. I had my session session with the lamp, and immediately after that I had a directed reading class with my supervisor. It was like something switched back on in my head. I felt like my old self. I was coherent for the whole time. I understood every question my prof asked, and he understood my responses. I'd dare say I was clever. I was enthusiastic, and I remembered things and made connections. I think I surprised my supervisor.
I had no idea how many symptoms I was experiencing until I felt was it was like to be without them for a while.
(Next step: using this new-found energy and motivation, and leaving the house more often. I think I'll even exercise.)
4 comments:
Wow, that's great! I had that feeling when I started getting my some of my health problems taken care of.
Isn't it the strangest relief? It's like that surreal feeling when you're finished a cold and can suddenly breathe through your nose: suddenly you're hyper-aware of the fact that you're breathing through your nose.
do you know where you can find a light like that? Are they super expensive??
I just picked one up at London Drugs for $250, but it has both the 10,000lux light and the dawn simulator function and works as a desk lamp. You can normally find one between $150-250 at places like London Drugs, Pharmasave or medical supplies stores.
You can actually find out more information at UBC's Mood Disorder Clinic Website: http://www.psychiatry.ubc.ca/mood/sad/index.html
(Of course a lot of the leading SAD research is being done in BC!)
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