Chris and I are friends with a woman from our church who is about the same age as my mother. She acts really young, and we play Monopoly and eat hummus and listen to folk music together. She has a friend -- I'll call her "M" -- who sometimes comes to our games nights.
Our friend has been calling me, inviting me to a knitting party that M is having on Friday. She keeps emphasising that I can bring along whatever other needlework I'm currently working on, if I'm not currently knitting.
The thing is that, in spite of my assertions in the last post that I have some domestic abilities, I do nothing even resembling "fancywork" or what have you. I do not knit, crochet, cross stitch, embroider...* I do simple sewing-machine sewing, and that's pretty much it. People have tried to teach me to do a few of the above, which has underscored my basic incompetence when it comes to working with my hands.
I have mentioned this fact to my friend, but she really has no concept of it. (It seems like both of them assume that all women just have these skills. It helps that both of them are part of very artsy/craftsy circles, and have lived amongst seniors for years.) And she keeps forgetting that I've said I can't do this kind of stuff. She left a message on my phone today, reminding me to bring "whatever I'm currently working on."
Okay, it also doesn't help that I feel entirely awkward around M, the friend's friend. At least Chris mediates and defuses the crazy some, but apparently this party is ladies-only. This is a nightmarish social scene for me. (Actually, Chris does more crafts than I do...)
My instinct is to create a reason why I can't go, but my other instinct tells me that the only people are invited are my friend, M, and me, and that they'll try to reschedule if I decline. What do I do? Do I dig up one of those cross stitch kits that people gave me as presents when I was a teenager, which still sit unopened in the bottom of my sewing box, and make an attempt? Even though I'd be spending the whole evening plotting my escape? Am I being really selfish here, with a couple of women who are really lonely and trying to get socialising more?
I've been coming up with a list of things that I'm "currently working on," which I could bring along, while I attempt to figure out how to small-talk (lack of small-talking abilities also made working in retail a nightmare for me):
- My comps list.
- A single pair of Chris's pants that need mending. That would take roughly thirty seconds, and it's just that both Chris and I've been procrastinating from dealing with it.
- This blog. (Could you imagine me bringing along my laptop and poaching someone's wireless?)
- Conversational German (I could bring along my tapes)
- An essay
- Thanksgiving baking ("Mind if I use your kitchen?")
What do you think?
* May-B, you should mention this fact to your Grandma. "Maryanne can't do anything like that, and yet she snagged a husband!"
16 comments:
You could make friendship bracelets! Anyone can tie knots AND they're really cool.
Or you could collect some pine cones and buy a styrofoam ring and hot glue gun the pine cones to the ring. You could also bring some plastic holly, or little mini candycane things and glue those on too. Remember to wrap the styrofoam ring in a garbage bag though or the styrofoam will melt.
I have a crap load of other ideas. If you want more, let me know.
Of course you have a crapload of other ideas. And of course at least half of those ideas are Christmas-themed. I love Lynnie dearly.
Mary, Grandma would be so horrified to know you are such a dismal example of a woman. And yet were able to get a husband. She'd be down right horrified.
Here's an idea! Have you ever tried making a latch hook rug?? Super easy, totally cool and you can buy a cheap complete kit at Walmart in the craft section..you can even make it into a pillow...when you get the hang of it you can just fly and it looks like you're totally crafty, although it's so simple you could do it in your sleep..check it out! That's my M-O....
you could make friendship bracelets...and then mail them to lyn. and then she could pack them with her friendship bracelets, and mail them to my dad for christmas.
i'm just sayin'.
Actually, I beg to disagree with Lynn. I am one of the few people in the world who cannot make friendship bracelets. My fingers get clumsy, and all I end up with is a tangled mess.I am completely unartsy, and yet it is one of the skills I admire most.
I suggest bringing along pictures and try your hand at scrapbooking. It is fun, and it creates conversation. Always helpful for awkward social situations.
Yeah, I sympathize. I recently learned I'm dismal at knitting. And not in an I'm-just-learning sense (which I am), but clearly in a longer-term, this-isn't-my-craft sense.
Scrapbooking can be interesting, but these days I'd probably just take along a sketchbook or some blank paper and either sketch the people present or draw cartoons.
You can also scrap without the book--make a collage of photos and embellish them with art supplies, and then frame your masterpiece.
Also, if you never want to get invited back, I vote for a project involving lots of hot glue and glitter.
I say go and politely explain you have 2 left hands which are incapable of knitting or anything else made of thread/yarn however, also explain your hands are perfectly capable of rolling yard for others.
It might be fun to just sit and have tea with your friends enjoying the good conversation while the others are busy with their crafts. I feel you don't need to pretend what you are not. So, bring some of your wonderful loose tea and enjoy a break from your Phd work.
I would needlepoint a "I hate crafts" sign. I don't know what you should do, but I sympathize. I have a hard time telling knitting clubs no.
I'm for surely not scrapbooking, and I don't have any photos that I'm willing to cut. So that's out. And the problem is that I'm also really dreading getting to know a bunch of new people, with whom I have no common interests (it's sounding like there will be quite a few people there now).
I'm really tending towards the hot glue and glitter options.
I would go with a crossword or suduko since this would emphasise to them that you are not artsy/craftsy. If you were in Regina I would lend you my 9 foot by 9 foot crossword puzzle.
On the other hand, even I have done hook-rugs.
Talking about Grandmother's, mine is blind and she could still knit.
Ooh! take a puzzle!
Who says scrap booking means you cut pictures? For serious, where did you get this idea? Those froufy things with cutesy sayings and, like, little fences and cut-out fishes are not the be-all end-all of scrapbookery.
And big c? Your grandma is amazing.
I think I established that the only scrapbooking that I do involves gluing photos to a page. I hardly ever cut photos, and I don't really like adding other stuff to the page, other than captions.
So, no scrapbooking.
I'd explain to them (again) that you are not good at crafts, and if you still want to go, ask them to come up with something easy and fun to teach you. Even if you hate whatever craft it is they decide on (knitting or needlepoint or whatever), the learning part of it could be fun. And they'll be flattered that they have a new protégé.
And if you do a bad enough job, they might believe you next time when you say you don't do these things.
I'm at Auntie Coral and Grandma Rita's place this weekend, and they have stacks and stacks of craft books full of craft ideas. I'll make a full report when I'm in Victoria.
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