Unleashing my Inner Stickler

I've just finished re-reading Eats, Shoots and Leaves, which set me to thinking about my Inner Stickler. Not that I am one to edit my own writing (as Derek loves to point out, continually). But Lynne Truss's tirade against public misusage of punctuation reminded me of my current least favourite advertising campaign.

As we drove away from the Tsawwassen Ferry terminal and into Vancouver, on our way to Spokane, I noticed a series of billboards advertising some travel agency: "We Paid Full Price So You Won't," and "We Swam With Sharks So You Won't." I stared at the signs for a while, trying to make out their meanings.

First of all, both slogans' abrupt endings grated on me; it felt like they cut off the last part. What did they even mean? Could it be "People from our company have explored these destinations and have purposely had a bad time, and so you won't have that bad time, by booking through us." Or, does it mean, "People from our company...bad time, so that you don't have a bad vacation." Every time I read the slogans, the phrase "have to" echoes through my mind. "We Paid Full Price So You Won't Have To": it's still grammatically troubling, but at least it makes sense! (Okay, I also don't understand why the travel agents purposely wasted all that company money, if they were looking for good deals for their customers.)

I think the "We Swam With Sharks So You Won't" is the least clear of the two, because what they actually did is entirely a mystery. Did they figuratively "swim with sharks," following from the first "paid full price" ad, and navigated their way through shady agencies? Or did they actually send their agents into shark-infested waters, so that they could check off on their lists: "Nope! We shouldn't send our clients swimming here. That shark just ate two of our finest agents." Why did I initially misunderstand that sign entirely? The kid on the sign is swimming so happily with sea creatures, and the "We swam with sharks" sounds like they had some sort of exotic adventure, but then it's cut off by "so you won't." Oh. I guess it wasn't an exotic sea adventure after all.

On our trip home, I shielded my eyes from the aggravating signs.