Saturday, October 22, 2005

Am I the only one blogging on a weekend?

Seriously, people: you must feed my desire to procrastinate! Especially when I'm groggily after napping with the Tupperware book. (My best naps are when I'm supposed to be doing something else.)

But I must address a specific issue has been bothering me for a while. I keep being drawn in to the "featured story" on MSN.ca, whenever I check out of my hotmail account (one of four accounts, by the way). For some reason, some part of me thinks that this time it will be good, or that it will be a real article (sometimes they feature real news articles), but usually it's something really lame. Today's a good example (they're always written by the MSN lifestyle column): "5 Things that Couples Should Do Everyday." Because I'm a sucker for relationship advice, I read it. Here's the advice: 1. Talk to each other; 2. Flirt; 3. Be silly together; 4. Declare your independence; 5. Cultivate common interests. And here we were, pantomiming to each other, in a cold and serious manner, being simultaneously co-dependent and yet bored with each other. In fact, I've never even met my husband before, and yet I'm utterly dependent on him!

At least our relationship books, you know, suggest ways to communicate and teach you conflict resolution skills. And all they had to do was tell us to talk to each other! Brilliant.

Some are even worse. They're like "tips on how to prevent obesity in your kids" and essentially they say "get them to eat smart and exercise." Boooooooo! I could write these columns. In fact, they would require no research. "Learn to drive, quickly": 1. Get in the car; 2. Turn the key; 3. Drive your car; 4. Don't hit people or other cars. I have another one. "Advice Your Dentist Wants You to Know": 1. Brush your teeth; 2. Floss daily; 3. A diet of Pixie Stix (while delicious) is a bad idea.
MSN.ca: hire me now! I can give pat and unoriginal advice. Now I will nap some more.

6 comments:

Queen of West Procrastination said...

And boo, Blogger, for consistently deleting that space between the final two paragraphs! I keep trying to edit it, but alas.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, I still have no life and can post comments.

If I ever wrote for MSN.ca it would only be misleading or entirely useless things with plenty of false statistics. Such as:

IMPORTANT: A man in maritime Canada built the world's largest egg beater.

Anonymous said...

The man was later put away in jail for poaching...

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(Groan.) What? You're IVCF president and yet you have time on the weekends?

Life of Turner said...

You can change that on the settings. There's one about converting line breaks...work with it. That might help you out.

Derek out.

Becca said...

Oh my dear Mary - how I identify with your MSN today problem... every once in awhile (every couple weeks) I'm a sucker for their title lines - and now I just do it for kicks because I realized just what you blogged about - the advice is so elementary and so crap that it's just ridiculous... Thanks for the blog... I thought "Huzzah! Mary understands me!"
I love a Mary
-Becca