Am I Losing It?

I'm seriously asking myself this question today. As if I can handle any further stress today: I got an e-mail from the Grad Secretary here, asking for the names of which students are applying for SSHRC this year, and mentioning that the departmental deadline for PhDs is November 4 -- less than a week and a half from now. Now, for some reason I thought that it was more like home, where our deadline was at the end of the month. But I didn't check yet, for some reason. And so that made me go back through my e-mails in my university account, to check what day the departmental SSHRC workshop was (held by the grad sec and grad chair), and apparently I'm a week behind on everything: I thought it was this Thursday, but actually it was last Thursday!

After those revelations, I went and had a shower. Because my brain couldn't take anymore.

Now, I've sprung into action: I ransacked the office until I found my box of files from my MA (Chris has been re-organising the office, to make room for the boxes from the storage room, and so this box got moved from its usual spot.) I realised that last year I'd forgotten my User ID, and had gone through a whole rigamorole trying to get it from SSHRC. I didn't have time to do that again, and I couldn't find the ID, again (they assign you a numerical ID for signing in). Thankfully, I'd happened to write the user ID and password on one of my draft applications, which I kept. Finding that, and successfully signing in, I wrote that ID and password (and my new one, because they make me change my password every year) in several, easy-to-find places, including in a clearly-marked file on my computer.

(As well, I've already e-mailed Dr. B and Old Department Head, for Letters of Appraisal, which they wrote last year anyway and would have on file. They probably still have my Program of Study. Now I need to contact UofR for my transcripts, as well as UVic, and I need to contact that lady who reads over your application, so that I can meet with her as soon as possible.) (There are a lot of hoops, when you apply for federal funding.)

How did this happen? And how am I going to explain to the grad secretary and chair why I missed the workshop? I forgot? I was sick that week with wonky allergies and spent most of the day at the health clinic, trying to get my allergy shot? I was clearly losing it last week, as a result of my husband working 16-hour days and me having trouble keeping our lives together in the wake of that? I'm still feeling lost since we moved here, and haven't even started keeping a calendar of important dates? My brain is in a fog and I keep wondering if I'm depressed again?

Is there anything else I'm forgetting now? I barely know where to begin. I guess I have to make some more phone calls/send some more e-mails during university business hours. And then I need to get a hold of that giant calendar that Chris uses for scheduling, and start marking down all my important deadlines. This means I have to go through my university e-mail accounts, and find out what else I'm forgetting, not to mention syllabi.

I do not look forward to next week: I lead seminar on the Monday, on the Thursday I have my German midterm and present at the workshop immediately afterward, and then the SSHRC application is due the next day, on the Friday.

I miss having someone around to talk these things out with. Maybe, after I get my other arranging done, I'm going to have to make some phone calls.