The jumbly thoughts in the head of an exam grader

• Is there some sort of conspiracy going on with my students this year, in which every time they forget the first name of a historical figure they just call him "William"? In previous years I think my students gave their historical figures the first name of "John." This year it's all "William," all the time.
• I wonder if it's the result of something in popular culture, like when all the history essays I marked during the escalation of the war in Iraq over-used the CNN word "embedded," and started bandying about the phrase "coalition forces" instead of "the Allies." (Trivia: a significant percentage of students writing about any historical war will refer to the perceived "good guys" as "the Allies".)
  
• You know, I miss ANTM's Victoria. I wish she hadn't gone crazy on Twiggy and made Tyra scared that she'd throw a shoe at her, because Victoria would have laughed out loud this week when Jay announced (waaaay too exuberantly) that the girls were going to pose as "High Fashion GARGOYLES!"
  
• I wonder if my usage of red pen (but it was the first pen I could find!) is going to give my students low self esteem.
• Can I manage to eat a bowl of cheddar-flavoured popcorn without getting orange fingerprints on these papers?
• I wish shoemakers still made square-toed dress shoes. I think my wide-toed feet will die dead if the narrow-toed shoe hegemony continues any longer.
  
• Note to self: get more people watching Chuck so that it isn't cruelly taken away from me mid-season.
• Are those cobwebs in the dining room window?
  
• Did I remember to eat lunch today?
  
• Are other people as distractable as I am when they're grading?