The imaginary world of weddings

The decorating is done. The rehearsal is done. The toast is written. All that is left is the wedding day. After that, there is the gift opening and then I return to reality and academia. For some reason, when I'm involved in weddings, I feel like I'm acting, like I'm playing a role in a play. In my last wedding (i.e. my own), I had a lead role with a lot of speaking parts. Now, I've returned to being a supporting character, who smiles, stands straight, and sings back-up.

This wedding is going to be particularly beautiful. The rehearsal took my breath away, with all the stained glass and the gorgeous music. It also made me reflect on my former roles in wedding parties, which I will tabulate and contrast here:

1. Flower girl for Rachel and Jürgen, 1987. Rachel is my mother's cousin, and I had no idea who she was until I met her at the rehearsal. I wore a pink flowered dress ordered out of the Sears catalogue, carried a basket of silk flowers, and got to sit between the groom and the best man (both from Germany) at the head table. Mostly, I thought it was pretty fun. I can't imagine how my parents handled it, as my aunt also got married (with my sister as junior bridesmaid) later that week, in a different town.

2. Flower girl for my Uncle Kelvin and Auntie Crystal, 1989. They got married on one of Saskatchewan's hottest days on record, as I (along with three other flower girls -- my cousin Ang and two of Auntie Crystal's nieces) wore a ruffley white dress with gloves, a wrist band, ruffley socks, tight shoes, and a big white puff in my hair, and carried a white ruffely parasol. There was a lot of big hair at this wedding, and we little girls enjoyed each other immensely. I was the oldest and the tallest, and so I got to lead the other girls.

3. Maid of honour for Brandy and Chad, 2002. We prepared for that wedding for two and a half years. We all wore light blue satin dresses (on another scorchingly hot day) and spent a lot of late nights sewing tablecloths, cutting tulle, handling family members' expectations, and talking about the future. Many of the guests asked if I was the bride's sister (we look a lot alike). Chris, my new boyfriend, was my date to the wedding.

4. Bridesmaid for Mark and Terra, Christmas 2003. Winter wedding, at the same church where I had also been maid of honour. The bride was a mellow version of Martha Stewart who dove joyfully into wedding crafts (and who now makes friends' wedding invitations and favours for fun, and decorated the church today). We four bridesmaid got along like a house afire, and sang Christmas carols to the bride and groom during photos. Many of the groom's family asked if I was the bride's sister (I was the only blonde bridesmaid) and were suprised to find out I was the groom's distant cousin. I wore a black sparkley tanktop and a long gold skirt (two of us wore gold and two wore burgundy) with black heels (which I'm wearing tomorrow).

5. My own wedding, July 2005. A lot of people died, I got five nosebleeds only days before the wedding, and my friends and family were so wonderful that it was the best day of my life. I wore a great big white dress.

6. Bridesmaid for Meg and Karl, tomorrow. I'm in a little black dress, with short hair and black heels. (This will be the first time since I was 6 years old that I won't wear my hair up.) No one will think I'm a sister (it's quite obvious I'm related to neither). High Church Anglican wedding and all of our dearest friends.

(Have I mentioned that I still own all of those dresses?)