Momentary Lull

Just as we were getting Ky ready to leave, Joyce came down with my laptop cooler, which just arrived in the mail. Then Barb arrived, to pick up Ky, and we had chaos here for a moment. And then they were all gone, and here I am alone with my books again.

But just for this moment. Even now we're making preparations for my parents' arrival on tomorrow night's ferry. Dad's oxygen tank arrived today, and we're going to set up the spare room tomorrow.

I'm in transition. While I'm rushing to get the reading done for tomorrow, after tomorrow afternoon it's my Spring Break and I have a week off. A whole week where I don't have to worry about the daily reading, and can just focus on my research and on my parents. I'm really glad that I had Ky here while I was in classes, and will have my parents here during the break. I got reading done around Ky, and she taught me a lot about all the theory I had to learn for last Tuesday. I also had a fantastic chance to talk out a bunch of the anxiety problems that have pretty much been a constant feature of my coursework, and especially of this semester. (I was trying to remember the last time I had this much trouble with anxiety. Hm. My MA coursework. Maybe I shouldn't be so idealistic about how much easier my MA courses were. Now I remember how I didn't get a single assignment in on time, but constantly had to re-negotiate deadlines because I wasn't keeping things together. Granted, it was The Year When Everyone Died, and therefore I kept getting extra provisions for compassionate reasons, but the coursework was also a major factor in that.)

So, I have an hour and a half to finish a whole heap of reading, before I meet with another PhD student to compare notes, and then tonight I have to do all of my European history reading in one sitting, but I'm feeling okay about this. Normally, I would be frantic at this point, but I'm not. I'm really calm for the first time in I don't know when (apparently, it helps for me to talk everything out; I have to remember that), and I'm having fun with this week's readings. So I'm okay, and I think I'm going to be fine tomorrow. This is the right sort of lull.