As of this one, I have posted 330 times.
For some reason, this blows my mind. Do I have much to say right now? The main thing I've had on my mind lately is reminiscence. I think perhaps it's the result of my still-unfamiliar surroundings, or the fact that this weekend I'll return to a familar and beloved place, after a long absence. But I've been having recurring dreams about high school friends -- people with whom I've lost contact, people I've hurt.
These dreams, and all the related reminiscence, led me to my old high school's alumni website today, where different alumni post updates about themselves. It was a bizarre thing, finding out that various ones are married, in grad school, successful in business, or still back home. I haven't posted yet; I don't know what I'd say.
It's funny how I'm simultaneously thinking about home and yet feeling disconnected from there. It's been snowing there lately. Here? We've been still having average fall weather and some co-workers of Chris complained to him that our winter came early this year and it is particularly harsh. (Chris laughed at them; he hasn't worn a jacket yet.)
I've also felt so strange because I keep discovering that everyone seems to be doing a lot better back home, now that I'm job. Meg's become the diligent student who participates and doesn't skip classes. Another friend (one who was particularly dependant on me) has finally found her calling in life, found a good job, stabilised, and has become a foster parent. Wee Girlie's dad found himself a good job, and things are looking up for that little family.
I'm really happy for all of them. But I find myself asking: was I a city-wide enabler, holding everyone back?
In more broad terms, I find it strange that things are changing, while I'm not there
And, for some reason, here I am with my brain haunted by reminiscences.
8 comments:
I send thee a hug.
And remember, when you start to think too much, that it is time to... do something else.
Love you!
As a fellow overthinker, stop that! Maryanne, you helped a lot of people while you were in Regina, and it's good to see that work coming to fruition. Don't get discouraged.
I like the word "fruition".
"...now that I'm job"? That's an interesting way of putting it...
Derek out.
Yeah, that phrase totally blew my mind away too. Perhaps it's a Victoria phrase or something.
Haha, Mary - don't get your hopes up too high for me - yesterday I got two 65%s and I am currently unbelievably behind in my homework. Just because I go to class doesn't necessarily mean I do well. Maybe it's just that school doesn't intimidate me as much anymore.
I still miss you incredibly, and I haven't watched a movie in weeks. It's sad here without Mary.
I thank everyone for the reassurances, and boo any one who makes fun of my sleepy typos.
I thought it was a biblical reference that I was just too much of a heathen to get.
It was supposed to read "now that I'm gone." I don't know where the "job" came from.
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